Testify

What does it mean to testify? A couple weeks ago, during a sharing and testimony time, a theme emerged through the stories that were presented and it revolved around the meaning of testifying and living your life in a way that truly testifies to Christ's existence. Since that Sunday, the concept has been tickling the back of my mind....

Testify |ˈtestəˌfī|
verb ( -fies, -fied) [ intrans. ]
give evidence as a witness in a law court : he testified against his own commander | [with clause ] he testified that he had supplied Barry with crack.
• serve as evidence or proof of something's existing or being the case : the bleak lines testify to inner torment.

John 15:26-27  "When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning"

Acts 10:42 "He commanded us to preach to the people and to testify that he is the one whom God appointed as judge of the living and the dead."

Acts 20:24 "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

2 Timothy 1:7-9 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace."

So many verses command us to testify to who Christ is and what He did for us. The passage in 2 Timothy is especially outstanding in my mind. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord..." Paul is, in an essence, saying that God want's us to testify and he has equipped us with the tools to do so. 

Ok, so I know I am supposed to testify. But how? When one normally thinks of testifying they think of speaking vocally about something - much like someone testifies in court. But is that all there is too it? Am I to just go around shouting out testifications about the Lord to whoever is near? Not exactly my style. 

One notion present in the testimonies during the church service - is how we need to be authentic. (you might think I am on a different track with this, but hang in there, I am not). One member explicitly stated that we need to be real - we need to share our stories and share them with even the not so pretty details. She said that it is much more powerful of a testimony if someone was to speak about their journey through "rape" rather then "a dark time". Even if no other details are mentioned - the fact that we are being humble and real enough to speak to the situation without concealing it, becomes much more powerful. Can these two notions be combined? Can our life stories become a way to testify to Christ and the things he has done? 

There is an unspoken rule that I have encountered in churches - everyone must be happy and "everything is ok". As Christians, we are not supposed to discuss our times of trouble to those around us. Joy is what needs to be seen. Those "dark times" are things we share at camp during campfire or similar situations. (To really testify that Christ is real! He saved me from this! Right??) Its not stuff we discuss sunday morning. This seems so contradictory to me. We are to testify - the bible commands it (and yes we are to testify outside of the church) but are not to testify to each other? Should we not be discussing even those "unhappy" moments in our christian walk? We all know they exist!! So why not share them more often? What would be wrong in actually letting people know that no everything isn't ok and I am not overly happy this morning. Would we find that our walk maybe comes a little more personal and deeper? Especially with each other? Or is this just way to awkward and far from our normal stereotypes? 

My last point - the two people (that sunday morning) who mentioned (a) being sexually abused and (b) being in a sexually impure relationship were the two people I would never have thought they walked a dark path in their lives. They always looked like life was good, nothing was wrong, and their walk with Christ was stronger then ever. By their being straight up and telling how it was - I was definitely moved and it really solidified my struggles. I am not the only one who struggles and is living in an "in between" state. (if you are reading this and don't know some of my background this prolly wont make sense - but ask me and I will share) 

Be real. Is it possible? Is it testification? When is it appropriate or do some social rules just need to be broken and reshaped??

It's Okay

Learning never really ends. Its a continual process. Sometimes, we learn and grow with leaps and bounds. Daily changes can be seen. Other times it seems like we will never get it. Somehow, one step forward results in ten more the opposite direction...

But its okay. Stop. Take a deep breath. Now step outside of the picture. What can you see now? Yes - there it is. See that seed? It's growing still. For those ten steps backward weren't so bad. Because in the process something was still learnt. That glimmer of truth - so important it was - weaseled its way through....

Yes we are behind. But it's okay. Breathe. Cry if you need to. Now get back up and lets keep trying for there's always something new that can be learnt.

The Stranger

A few years after I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mum taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger ..... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries, and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understoodthe present and even seemed able to predict the future!
He took my family to the football and cricket games. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The strangernever stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, Mum would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever praye for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home ... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. If you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
His name? We just call him 'TV.' He has a wife now, ... We call her 'Computer'.

~~~~~~~~ Author Unknown ~~~~~~~~~~

Lost?

I absolutely cannot believe the realization I have come to...When I restarted this blog, I also intended to restart my life as a follower of Christ. I wanted to (really really wanted to!) begin daily prayers, reading God's Word and deveeloping a true relationship with Him. And I did...but somewhere along the lines I slipped up. I dont know when, I dont know how, but all of a sudden I am here, right now, back to the exact same place in my life where I didn't want to be and doing what I dont want to be doing anymore! How did that happen? It frusterates me so much. All my life I have just wanted to have good relationship with Christ and to follow Him faithfully. And I always fail.
I can count on one hand the number of times i have been to church since christmas. Thats horrible! The last time I went I felt SO guilty. Guilty for getting lost again, guilty for not having the discipline to actually keep doing what I want to be doing...just guilty. Not only that, but I am already facing a huge change in only one week (marriage) and I feel incredible bad that I can't even have my life on track with God before starting on that journey. It scares me.
So where do I go from here? Do I try again? I can't help but think I am only going to fail - seems to be my track record...

Novels: Novel Ideas?

So last night I spent a good three hours consumed in a romance fiction novel. Don't get me wrong - it was a Christian romance novel and there defiantly a lot more in it then just romance. It was a really good read (hence the three hours and finishing the book in that amount of time). However, it is the feeling I was left with when I finished the book that is bothering me. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I totally felt almost cheated and dissatisfied with the way my life is. Why can't it be more like the characters?? I even spent a few minutes crying when I finished. Somehow that really does not sit well with me. I used to spend a lot of time reading novels, they were my escape and chance to just live someone else's life for a time, a way to forget about the current time. Its been awhile since I picked up a novel and I wonder now if I wasn't creating more damage to myself by "escaping" into those novels. I was really dissatisfied with myself after reading the book and could have found a million things to kick myself about (which I stopped myself from doing, in case you should wonder). It was great to be caught up in the story, but once I came back to real life nothing matched with what happened in the book. I wasn't a bar girl who got pregnant and eventually feel in love with a dreamy christian guy who loved me from the first time he saw me and needed me to nurse his child after his wife died....I am just an ordinary girl fighting the ordinary parts of life - not too much "romantic" in my story. Here's another check: my life isn't anything less in value to the lives of novel characters. My testimony is just as important to God as anyone elses. I need to be satisfied with the here and now and shouldn't constantly wish to be someone else. Therefore I seriously am considering the validity in reading fictitious romance novel that just leave one wishing and longing for more then her current situation. It doesnt seem healthy (even when I am just reading for relaxation's sake). Maybe this isn't true for every girl, but it seems to be something for me. What do with it? I dont know...Are there certain types of novels better then others? Maybe staying away from romance is a good idea...sadly there is a lot of it in all books...do I give up reading novels then? That seems crazy! I love reading! Hmm...

What is it to me?

I've been challenged. One of my classes has been forcing me to seriously consider what my education means to me and what (or why) I value it and why I am even talking this degree. I suppose that this challenge isn't a bad thing....its always good to evaluate what you are doing. For so long I accepted the notion that I was going to university because it was expected of me. Getting a good job required an education. So getting an education was what I did. And I always thought in the back of my mind that I would further my BA and get a masters and my doctorate. I never expected to met a guy and get married. Much less consider the concept of going into missions with him. So now, here I sit, with this question in my mind. Does my education still mean anything to me? Its going to be too expensive to do the further school and have a family. So am I forced to choose? And when are we supposed to get into missions? Right after we are married? In 10 years? Do I put aside my dream of "helping people through counseling"? Or is my dream just changing and God's been setting me in a path to start my goal of helping people and now that ending result is just changing. Instead of staying here in North America, he is sending me into other parts of the world to help people. Thats fine with me. Its still helping people. But then I am faced with issue of where does the value of my education fit in? Staying here in American makes that degree useful and justifies the time I have spent (not to mention the cost!) of getting that degree. But I still have yet to see the value of my degree if I am going to go over seas and become a missionary. I technically wouldnt need my education to do what we want to be doing. So am I just being selfish and wasting this time going to school? Or is there a place for it in missions? So confusing!

Issues

These are some issues that a prof emailed to our class that reflect some current ethical issue of Abortion....read on if you like...I have inserted my comments between the issues in this same font/color.

"Pro-life ads pulled from transit shelters"

The City of Hamilton ordered pro-life ads removed from its transit shelters this week after receiving three complaints about them. The ads, part of a national campaign to mark the 20th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision that struck down all legal restrictions on abortion, depict a photo of a pregnant woman and say, “Nine months. The length of time abortion is allowed in Canada. No medical reason needed. Abortion: Have we gone too far?” Hamilton City Councillor Brian McHattie asked that the ads be removed because, he said, “For me personally, it definitely was offensive.” Similar ads and billboards are running across the country, including at least three billboards and three transit ads here in Alberta. The City of Fredericton also refused to allow the ads to be posted in their transit shelter. The refusal by these cities to run these inoffensive ads proves the point of the campaign slogan “Have we gone too far.” The city officials and politicians are infected with a pro-abortion attitude that permits them to suppress these ads simply because they pose a question about unrestricted abortion.

I love how people think that the "unoffensive" side should be able to control what is being said or posted to the rest of the world. What ever happened to the "equality in beliefs" They believe abortion is ok and think they can express that but that I shouldnt express my belief of abortion being wrong??? Wheres the equality in that?? Not to mention that these facts being displyed are only the truth...If the facts are offensive to you, then maybe you should actually explore WHY they are offensive!

"Another campus pro-life group denied status"

Lakehead University Students’ Union (LUSU), like many other closed-minded student groups across the country, has denied club status to Lakehead University Life Support by a vote of 23 to 3. Last month, LUSU imposed conditions on the club, including ordering “no unsolicited conversations with students, approaching people to tell them about your clubs’ beliefs.” You know how dangerous “conversations” can be. It might actually lead people to think and discuss. In any case, apparently LUSU deemed those restrictions on free speech to be too lenient and on January 10th voted to deny club status completely. The students’ group blamed a poster that they deemed “inappropriate” for the decision to deny club status even though the poster had been approved by LUSU before it was put up. The pro-life club is considering taking its case to the Ontario Human Rights Commission on the grounds of discrimination. Without club status, groups cannot receive funding, are denied meeting rooms on campus and in many cases, including Lakehead University, cannot put up posters or signs to advertise meetings, events or advocate their cause.

"Vote for “1st degree Morgentaler” video"

Canadian independent filmmaker, John Heatherington, has produced a short documentary called “1st degree Morgentaler” which features Vicky Green who had an abortion at Morgentaler’s Montreal clinic. The film juxtaposes comments by Green with comments by Henry Morgentaler and clips of him being awarded an honourary doctorate at University of Western Ontario. It is short, about 10 minutes, and a very effective portrayal of how many women feel about their abortions. Mr. Heatherington has entered his movie into the Breakout Filmmaker competition, an online contest. Go to http://shortfilm.projectbreakout.com/media_page/entry_id/219, watch his video and then vote if you think it deserves to win. You do have to login and register to vote. At this writing, “1st degree Morgentaler” is running seventh. This is not a pro-life competition so it’s important to vote. The winner will be announced on January 28th, which coincidentally is the 20th anniversary of the Morgentaler Supreme Court decision which struck down all legal restrictions on abortion.

I watched the video...my omp didnt play it smoothly, it kindda jumped from section to section so I dont know if I missed anything important being said. But, I really think that Vicky has something important that needs to be explored more. Yes - the words of these women do need to be listened to. Now I dont know if every clinic acts in this manner that once an abortion has been decided thats it and if the women objjects then they convince her further....but women do need to know the facts about what they are doing. And if abortion isnt going to be illegial then it should be that unborn childs right therefore legally have to have its mother know the facts and all the facts before an abortion is done. Many people here the notion of "its just mass" and dont realize the creation they have just aborted.

One section of the video calls to the womans right to chose and to have the freedom to make that choice (from the Charter of Rights). Now its my question - if the mother has the right to choice then what about that growing child. Where is its rights?

Did you know that legally a baby can be aborted right up until the moment it is born. So like, an 8 1/2 month old child could be aborted!!! Legally!!! Now most of us would agree that a fetus that old is a child and not just a lump of mass anymore.....Therefore, whats up? Now if this same child wasnt aborted but born the next day and someone killed it - it would be considered murder. WHAT???? How is there a difference?

Did you know?
Canadian law allows abortion to take place anytime during pregnancy. Even after the baby’s heart starts beating. Even after the arms and legs are formed. Even after the baby can suck its thumb, feel pain, and survive outside the womb. No medical reason needed. Abortion. Have we gone too far? Visit http://www.abortionincanada.ca/

check out http://www.abortionincanada.ca/ . This is the site that was made for the campaign by Life Canada. There are also billboards and bus ads across the country thanks to various Right to Life groups with the same message: abortion. Have we gone too far?

Well...comment if you wish. I just really wanted to enlighten my few readers of the issues in our world (though I am sure you are well aware!) It blows me away how humanity has become so twisted and cruel....

A debate

we had an interesting class today and it really got me thinking on certian topics. I am taking a christian ethics class and one of our class periods was spent in coming up with a debate (for or against) manditory chapels at the school. At the moment, our university college, has decided that chapels are manditory. We have them twice a week and you must sign in (they bought a scanner to read our student cards). You are excused for seven chapels per semster. The other side of this issue is that they have channels through which you can get a waiver form through your supervisor if from some reason you cannot attend. This is not the first college that I have attend that requires a student to go to chapel, however there were other circumstances that really just had it make sense to go to chapel (aka pretty much everyone lived in dorms, really wasnt anywhere else to go, and while it was expected that you go it was in a different manner then my school)
back to my original thoughts...each side put up some pretty good points. So much so that I have questioned my dissapointment in the school for making chapel manditory. I understand that they want to get students there and to have them participate in chaple because it is one of the things that makes us as a christian school different from the rest. And yes chapel is a great resource for our spiritual growth. But I am wondering if the school doesnt need to take into consideration their current context of being within a city to which many students commute to the school. Not to mention that chapel is not always that interesting. Therefore maybe making a different design for chapels and taking out the manditory aspect might actually bring in a larger student body....
Lol, that was a real ramble of thoughts and I dont know if any of it made sense. Oh well! I guess my main point was that I hated the thought of being made to go to chapel like I was some little kid, but after class and hearing different sides of the debate I have come to realize the intentions of the school in trying to build a christian community. Yet I still hold somewhat to my old view - just maybe not so harshly.....

ok I'm done rambling now